I am a dreamer.

A while back, I took a quiz of some sort that tells me how I view my clutter. I can't find the link to it which is ironically, very me. Anyway, this quiz was supposed to tell me how my personality is and how it will help me clear out the clutter to get organized. After answering all the questions, it said that I was a dreamer. That I dream of doing all sorts of projects and what nots. It was an eye opener for me because I always say that I am a gatherer of ideas. When it comes to a project, I don't commit to anything. I have stacks and stacks of ideas. Do It Yourself magazines, decorating ideas, organizational ideas saved on my computer, scrapbooking inspirations, paint color choices, sewing patterns, some fabrics, crafty blogs I read, kids crafts, stuff for kids crafts, etc. etc,. All these ideas just rolling around never coming to fruition. Why? Why can't I commit to something and just go with it? It's like a strange kindof perfection. I know that it's not going to be just right and be a beautiful awe inspiring whatever so I just don't do it. Instead, I tuck away the idea for me to look at and dream about. I dream of being surrounded by a beautiful and a happy, organized home making me the organized, put together mom of the happy, well adjusted children and a proud husband. Someone that everyone can count on. Just a little bit to ask of myself.

I am actively trying not to be such a dreamer and more of a do-er. I am concentrating on Mia's room right now. I am determined to see it through to the end. It helps that I have my sister Teryn, a decorating diva extraordinaire, to throw ideas off of. And she is so wonderfully helpful and encouraging. When I decided to throw orange into the mix of pink in Mia's room and freaked out that I made the wrong decision and it was not going to be a cute little room indeed, she said that I was on the right track and just lost confidence in my decision.

Lack of confidence plagues me often. How does one get over that?

Seems so silly to me that I am actually worried about how my house looks. Is it really worth the worry? I don't need it physically. It's not necessary. More of a luxury, yes? Yet I really want it because I yearn for the "everything in its place and a place for everything" organization and I love the warmth of an inviting room.

I have waited three years to get into a new house. This is our old house in Ogden. It took two years for it to sell. It took 10 months to find another house, or really, for our house to fall in our laps. Three years to the date of listing our Ogden house, we had our first mortgage payment due in our new home. We have our house now. It still doesn't feel like a home. Our old home, was small. It had a list of projects that I would of loved to have figured out. But, it was cozy and everything had it's place. Yes, it would get horribly out of control messy dirty but I knew that once I dove in, I could clean it up and everything had a place to go. It stressed me out everyday for two years wondering if it would sell. It wasn't perfect. It was our home.

I am striving for that here. It needs to be our home. So, trivial as it seems, I have a goal to get at least one small project done a day. Whether I finally fill the drawers in the hall or put curtains up, it will be a small hurdle I am tripping over. I will be working less on dreaming and more on living and hopefully, everything will fall into its place.